The Best Things Under $100 At The Real Real Right Now

A truly stupid amount of stuff.

You saw the headline; no time to pontificate.

(These are all pulled from what the site is calling this a “cyber Monday super sale” but, well, it’s Sunday now and so I make no promises for how long this will or won’t last. Apologies for organizing this purely by vibes.)

• Red Valentino pink mini skirt XS for $32: The find that started this deep dive. If you see me in this, you know where I got it.

• Alice + Olivia knee-length shorts XS for $36: Wear with tall boots to make it seasonally appropriate. Or maybe loafers and knee-high socks? To uh, accentuate your knees?

• North Face puffer vest S for $67.50: As someone who is never warm enough (loosing too much heat out of my knees in the previous outfit), I love a vest. Like an actual practical tactical vest to insulate. This one does that (wear it running outside if you’re a masochist) while still being taken-out-on-the-town appropriate.

• Helmut Lang blue corduroy wide-leg pants XS for $48: Admittedly, I’m a little iffy on the actual size of these — listed as a size 0 and “runs small,” but measurements say a 27” waist. But if you’re willing to risk it (I’m not saying you should obfuscate anything, but the deal is so good you can almost certainly recoup most of the value on the resale market if they don’t fit…) they could be your perfect non-boring, non-jeans winter pants.

• St. John Collection striped cardigan sweater M for $72: Embrace your inner coastal grandmother, as the kids say.

• D&G striped bateau cotton sweater S for $63: Keep the coastal vibes, now with less grandmother.

• Minnie Rose cotton/cashmere cardigan S for $45: Keep the grandmother, but now she lives in Westchester.

• St. John Sport wool/silk/cashmere XL for $76.50: Forget grandma, cop your grandfather’s style. (PEEP THAT ESTIMATED RETAIL PRICE!!!)

• Helmut Lang wool/cashmere romper situation S for $103.50: Swaddle your entire self in sweater. (If you tell me you think I can wear this on planes, I’m buying it.)

• Frame wool/silk/cashmere mauve-y mockneck sweater M for $81: Finally, a totally normal, eminently wearable, extra-luxe sweater.

• Autumn Cashmere skull sweater M for $67.50: Satisfy your inner Hot Topic goth while staying cozy.

• Autumn Cashmere floral sweater XS for $76.50: If you were more of a Limited Too teen.

• Helmut Lang lime green wool-blend sweater S for $85.50: Just a really good color.

• Brochu Walker linen/cotton sweater vest S for $45: Buy a summer-weight sweater now if it’s nearly 90% off.

• Complice cream-colored double-breasted blazer M for $81: Wear this like a jacket (it’s 56% wool!) over a hoodie and jeans (trust me).

• Louis Feraud plaid-print single-button blazer XS for $54: This is an $1,100 blazer. That’s all.

• Acne Studios scoop neck bodysuit M for $40: I don’t think you need to go designer for your base-layer basics, but for $40 why not? I bet it’s really nice.

• Prada knee-length black skirt XS for $60: Another simple piece from a high-end designer for the price of ordering takeout for two.

• Prada printed silk knee-length skirt M for $100: But maybe that’s too simple.

• Mother raw-edge knee-length denim skirt S for $52: Enough of the stuffy shit. Here’s a very cool denim skirt from a very current denim brand.

• Magaschoni wide-leg trousers XL for $44: Personally, I’ve never met a pair of drape-y, wide-leg, high-waisted, mega trousers I didn’t like. Listed condition: Pristine.

• Alive + Olivia wide-leg trousers XS for $40: Accordingly, I might get these.

• Staud wide-leg flare trousers XS for $76: Or these. Great color.

• Reformation spaghetti strap midi dress M for $80: Sorry for covering you up so much. You’re hot! Wear a sexy red dress.

• Reformation spaghetti strap mini dress M for $68: If you need to be even nakeder. (no judgement)

• Cinq à Sept lace midi dress XS for $92: If you only want to look mostly naked.

• Alice + Olivia long floral dress XS for $100: Moody florals if you have a winter wedding to attend.

• Alice + Olivia mock neck mini dress XL for $64: Sorry for presuming it was a formal wedding. Could be cocktail attire! In which case.

• Lanvin red silk mini dress M for $92: Similar, expect flowy.

• Stone Cold Fox long silk dress S for $100: Wear this to your own intimate spring wedding. Seafoam green is so much more interesting than white anyway.

• M Missoni cotton striped knee-length skirt M for $40: If you have a vacation planned somewhere warm and beachy.

• St. John silk wide-leg pants M for $56. But you’re going for more than one night, right? Better get these, too.

• Missoni dark silk long-sleeve sheath dress S for $81: Look like a million — or, at least, $1,630 — bucks without looking like you tried at all.

• Rhode high-neck midi dress XXS for $97.50: Digging the subtle psychedelic print. Treat future you of next spring with this easy cotton dress.

• Dolce & Gabbana floral sheath dress S for $97.50: In case Spring You has a semi-formal picnic to attend.

• Alice + Olivia sleeveless denim jumpsuit XS for $87.50: Next Spring You also wants to look cute in more casual settings.

• Piamita silk button down XS for $36: Printed silk button downs are sneaky cool and versatile. Even (especially?) if they have have… origami llamas on them.

• Veronica Beard green silk button down XS for $52. But maybe llamas aren’t your thing. Maybe you had a bad experience with llamas that one time.

• Opening Ceremony long sleeve silk mini dress M for $52: As the natural predators (don’t fact check me) of llamas, you love small wildcats (I think?), though.

• Diane von Furstenberg silk dresses are great consignment pieces and frequently pretty affordable. For example: Red mini M for $52; vaguely giraffe print L for $68; blue shirtdress S for $76.

• Prada patent leather sandals 36.5 for $76: Let’s look at some shoes. Starting with these what-I-picture-when-people-say-strappy-heels pair.

• Escada snakeskin slingbacks 38 for $40: The condition is “fair” (be warned, some of these shoes are fairly worn) but for $40, get ‘em re-soled.

• Marni ponyhair oxfords 37.5 for $100: A sharply-dressed villain in a modern reinterpretation of the spaghetti western style would wear these.

• Tory Burch cow-print ponyhair mules 7.5 for $92: Don’t buy these, I want them.

• Dolce & Gabbana white croc stiletto slides 36 for $64: For those aforementioned beach trips and warm-weather weddings.

• Prada gold stiletto sandals 39 for $68: I have nothing to add.

• Jimmy Choo silver slingback sandals 38.5 for $76: I have nothing to add, now in silver.

• Dr. Marten sandals 8 for $56: I would gladly own any and any number of Dr. Martens. Would wear these immediately with socks.

• Manolo Blahnik suede mules 38 for $100: Imagine these poking out from a pair of super wide-leg dark denim.

• Prada dice sandals 37.5 for $42.40: My fucked up flat fleet are aching just looking at these, but maybe you’re better suited to bipedal life.

• Proenza Schouler pink patent slingbacks 37 for $84: Make your feet look like a Barbie spaceship. In a good way.

• Prada platform oxfords 40 for $116: Yes, these are a little above the arbitrary century cutoff. But if these are you’re size, you have to get them. You just have to.

Phew, OK. We made it, together. Now I gotta go edit my shopping cart down to just the essentials. (Like, open-toed slides that are incompatible with my orthopedic inserts.)